Day 1: Compile all your 2014 expenses and income. Categorize them. You can use Mint.com or Excel, whatever you are comfortable with. Yearly budgets are more accurate because you will see irregular expenses like property taxes or gifts.
Day 2: Continue to compile your 2014 expenses and income. You may need a second day to get all the 2014 expenses and income in one place, so use this day to do that and then review everything to make sure it is all correct.
Day 3: Make a spending plan using the data compiled on Day 1. Is your spending in line with what you want it to be? Do you want to save more or are you happy with the way things are going? Pick one area of your budget (just one area) that you want to reduce spending.
Day 4: Plan to save money in that one area of your budget. If, for example, it is to cut back on eating out, look through Pinterest and make a meal plan for the next month.
Day 5: Reduce your fixed expenses. In my experience, instead of trying to penny pinch, if you can see your fixed, recurring expenses and determine where you can save money without sacrificing your quality of life, that is the best win. For example, if you can spend 10 minutes on the phone and cut your cell phone bill by $10 a month, that is an easy $120 for the rest of the year without any effort. So let us do that. First, check if your company has a preferred cell phone provider who offers discounts on all the employee’s personal plans.
AT&T Corporate discount: https://www.wireless.att.com/businesscenter/auth_fail.jsp
Sprint employer discounts program: http://now.sprint.com/save/
T-Mobile Advantage program: https://validate.t-mobile.com/employee-discount
Verizon Employee discount: http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/employee/eleuLanding.jsp
Call your cell phone provider and ask if they have a better plan for you with or without the employee discount (without affecting/resetting the contract). For starters, here are the numbers for the major cell phone carriers.
These are in US, check with the other company providers for the ones living in Canada.
Day 6: Shop for better car insurance. You can start here and compare rates. Once you have an idea whether you are getting a competitive rate, call your insurance company and ask for a re-quote. Check if you are getting all the discounts for which you are eligible. If you have not taken an online safe driver course, check how much you can save if you take it now. Most of the time, spending a couple of hours and $25 to take the course can save a lot more on your insurance.
Day 7: Time to call the cable/Internet company. I combined them because many people purchase these two services from the same provider. If you have them separately, call them on two separate days. Ask them for a better rate. Most cable companies have “introductory” rates that they jack up after 6 months or 1 year. So it is a better idea to make a note in your calendar to call them up 6 months (or 1 year, whatever their rate period is) from today.
Day 8: Get your credit report. You can get a free credit report from each of the three credit reporting agencies. I usually space them out once every four months, so I keep current on my report throughout the year. For example, you can get the Experian credit report on Day 8. Schedule a reminder to get the Transunion credit report in May and the Equifax report in September. The ONLY website you can get truly free credit reports from is https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action. Do you see any discrepancies? Report them immediately.
Day 9: If you have credit card debt, call and ask to negotiate the APR down. See if there are any zero-percent offers (check the transfer fee) that you can take advantage of and make a plan to pay that down before the promotional period runs out. If you don’t have credit card debt, you can take the day off or move ahead!
Day 10: Automate your finances. Set up an auto transfer of all the money you saved during the last few days. To stretch it a little, try adding a little bit more to your retirement fund. If you got a raise recently, can you channel that into savings? Most of the time, you will never miss the money as you have been living with the pre-raise income. If you have not received a raise in recent months, can you sit down with your manager for an appraisal and ask for a raise? If you can accomplish that, it is another big win for you!
Day 11: Declutter. It is such a great feeling to be organized, so spending a day to declutter and put things in order can be very productive time, especially if you can clean out a space (or a room) and find something you can sell.
Day 12: Profit from decluttering. Continue decluttering and find two more things you can get rid of, donate, or sell.
Day 13: Post those items things for sale. As soon as you sell them, take 25 percent of the proceeds for fun and transfer the rest to savings. Schedule a day every month for the rest of the year and challenge yourself to sell one thing every month. You might end up with a good holiday fund by just doing this!
Day 14: While you are in a decluttering mode, declutter your finances. Do you still get paper bills? Can you sign up for e-bills? Make sure to schedule a time every month to get the .pdf files and save them if you want to keep the bills. If you are comfortable with the idea, can you auto-pay some bills? Shred documents that are no longer needed.
Day 15: Organize your financial file. Make a few folders (virtual or physical). Make one for tax-related receipts to save throughout the year, one for documents you have to keep for future reference (like a cancelled check for a security deposit until you get the deposit back), and one for monthly rotating documents (receipts that you can get rid of after reconciling with the credit card statements, bills that you can get rid of after paying them off, etc.)
Day 16: Have a financial date with your partner (if applicable). Are you and your partner financially on the same page? If one of you manage the finances, talk about your budget, goals and spending plans with your partner and bring him/her into the game plan.
Day 17: Based on your talk, create a master financial document that your partner can look up anytime. This should have your current net worth, budget and a list of all your accounts with passwords. Make sure you encrypt this and keep a copy in a very safe place. The Big Book of Everything has an excellent template to finish this task easily. You don’t have to fill everything in and you don’t have to do it all today. Start it today and keep working on it until it is done.
Day 18: Take one more day to work on your master file.
Day 19: Take a household inventory. For homeowners and renters insurance to be accurate, you need to know what you own and exactly how much it will cost to replace. Now is a good time to take an inventory of things of value. Collect all the warranty information and put them in one place. If you have any expensive items, make an appointment to have them appraised. Based on your inventory, do you have enough insurance or enough of an emergency fund to self-insure? If not, update your insurance or make a plan to save money to replace them yourself in case of a disaster.
Day 20: Do a bank audit. Are you paying for your checking account or credit card? If you are, it is time to change your bank. Look for a free checking account. Check your local credit union or ask the bank for ways you can avoid paying a fee.
Day 21: Do an interest rate audit. Are you getting the best interest rate possible? Personally, I don’t chase interest rates very often because the current interest rates are so low. But once a year to make sure my money works as best as it can? I will do it! I would keep on it more frequently if I had certificates of deposit, though!
Day 22: Do an investment audit. How much are you paying in expense ratio? Are there ways you can reduce this and improve your return?
Day 23: Do an energy audit. Do you have any energy vampires? Check your local library for a Kill-a-watt device. Our library has a kit that we can borrow to check energy consumption. Check your utilities company to see if they will do a free audit. A lot of them do, and they also provide a discount if you use a preferred company to fix the problems.
Day 24: Fix some of the items in your energy audit. Is there anything that popped up in your energy audit that you can fix yourself easily; for example, adding some simple insulation to the windows?
Day 25: Do a subscription audit. Do you have any subscriptions — magazines, online entertainment like Hulu or Netflix? Check your library’s online services to see if they can be replaced for free. While you are at it, check all the services your library provides. You could save plenty of money by using your library more (cheap tickets to local attractions, magazine subscriptions, museum passes, state park passes, notary public services to name a few).
Day 26: Find more ways to save. Look at your employer’s HR page, your credit card company’s benefits page, your insurance company’s discount page and any other subscription’s (like AAA) pages to see what discounts you are eligible to receive. At my previous job, we were provided a free gym membership. However, most of my colleagues were completely unaware of this benefit. VISA, Master card, American Express and Discover, all provide many benefits to their card holders that can save money with discounted tickets, extended warranties, etc. Make a list of these discounts and keep it handy.
Day 27: Compute your real hourly wage. This is very empowering. If you know how many hours each of your purchases is costing you, you will see everything with a new perspective that will help you save a lot more in the coming months.
Day 28: Take someone out to lunch. Yes, I asked you to spend money! Take someone you admire and want to learn from, out to lunch. Ask questions and listen more. This is probably the best money you can spend for your career.
Day 29: Update your information. Make sure your beneficiary information for all your accounts is updated.
Day 30: Update your will if there has been any change to your assets or life situation since the last time it was updated (or make an appointment with the lawyer to do that as soon as you can).
http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2014/12/31/30-days-to-better-finances/
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
30 days to better finances
Day 1: Compile all your 2014 expenses and income. Categorize them. You can use Mint.com or Excel, whatever you are comfortable with. Yearly budgets are more accurate because you will see irregular expenses like property taxes or gifts.
Day 2: Continue to compile your 2014 expenses and income. You may need a second day to get all the 2014 expenses and income in one place, so use this day to do that and then review everything to make sure it is all correct.
Day 3: Make a spending plan using the data compiled on Day 1. Is your spending in line with what you want it to be? Do you want to save more or are you happy with the way things are going? Pick one area of your budget (just one area) that you want to reduce spending.
Day 4: Plan to save money in that one area of your budget. If, for example, it is to cut back on eating out, look through Pinterest and make a meal plan for the next month.
Day 5: Reduce your fixed expenses. In my experience, instead of trying to penny pinch, if you can see your fixed, recurring expenses and determine where you can save money without sacrificing your quality of life, that is the best win. For example, if you can spend 10 minutes on the phone and cut your cell phone bill by $10 a month, that is an easy $120 for the rest of the year without any effort. So let us do that. First, check if your company has a preferred cell phone provider who offers discounts on all the employee’s personal plans.
AT&T Corporate discount: https://www.wireless.att.com/businesscenter/auth_fail.jsp
Sprint employer discounts program: http://now.sprint.com/save/
T-Mobile Advantage program: https://validate.t-mobile.com/employee-discount
Verizon Employee discount: http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/employee/eleuLanding.jsp
Call your cell phone provider and ask if they have a better plan for you with or without the employee discount (without affecting/resetting the contract). For starters, here are the numbers for the major cell phone carriers.
These are in US, check with the other company providers for the ones living in Canada.
Day 6: Shop for better car insurance. You can start here and compare rates. Once you have an idea whether you are getting a competitive rate, call your insurance company and ask for a re-quote. Check if you are getting all the discounts for which you are eligible. If you have not taken an online safe driver course, check how much you can save if you take it now. Most of the time, spending a couple of hours and $25 to take the course can save a lot more on your insurance.
Day 7: Time to call the cable/Internet company. I combined them because many people purchase these two services from the same provider. If you have them separately, call them on two separate days. Ask them for a better rate. Most cable companies have “introductory” rates that they jack up after 6 months or 1 year. So it is a better idea to make a note in your calendar to call them up 6 months (or 1 year, whatever their rate period is) from today.
Day 8: Get your credit report. You can get a free credit report from each of the three credit reporting agencies. I usually space them out once every four months, so I keep current on my report throughout the year. For example, you can get the Experian credit report on Day 8. Schedule a reminder to get the Transunion credit report in May and the Equifax report in September. The ONLY website you can get truly free credit reports from is https://www.annualcreditreport.com/index.action. Do you see any discrepancies? Report them immediately.
Day 9: If you have credit card debt, call and ask to negotiate the APR down. See if there are any zero-percent offers (check the transfer fee) that you can take advantage of and make a plan to pay that down before the promotional period runs out. If you don’t have credit card debt, you can take the day off or move ahead!
Day 10: Automate your finances. Set up an auto transfer of all the money you saved during the last few days. To stretch it a little, try adding a little bit more to your retirement fund. If you got a raise recently, can you channel that into savings? Most of the time, you will never miss the money as you have been living with the pre-raise income. If you have not received a raise in recent months, can you sit down with your manager for an appraisal and ask for a raise? If you can accomplish that, it is another big win for you!
Day 11: Declutter. It is such a great feeling to be organized, so spending a day to declutter and put things in order can be very productive time, especially if you can clean out a space (or a room) and find something you can sell.
Day 12: Profit from decluttering. Continue decluttering and find two more things you can get rid of, donate, or sell.
Day 13: Post those items things for sale. As soon as you sell them, take 25 percent of the proceeds for fun and transfer the rest to savings. Schedule a day every month for the rest of the year and challenge yourself to sell one thing every month. You might end up with a good holiday fund by just doing this!
Day 14: While you are in a decluttering mode, declutter your finances. Do you still get paper bills? Can you sign up for e-bills? Make sure to schedule a time every month to get the .pdf files and save them if you want to keep the bills. If you are comfortable with the idea, can you auto-pay some bills? Shred documents that are no longer needed.
Day 15: Organize your financial file. Make a few folders (virtual or physical). Make one for tax-related receipts to save throughout the year, one for documents you have to keep for future reference (like a cancelled check for a security deposit until you get the deposit back), and one for monthly rotating documents (receipts that you can get rid of after reconciling with the credit card statements, bills that you can get rid of after paying them off, etc.)
Day 16: Have a financial date with your partner (if applicable). Are you and your partner financially on the same page? If one of you manage the finances, talk about your budget, goals and spending plans with your partner and bring him/her into the game plan.
Day 17: Based on your talk, create a master financial document that your partner can look up anytime. This should have your current net worth, budget and a list of all your accounts with passwords. Make sure you encrypt this and keep a copy in a very safe place. The Big Book of Everything has an excellent template to finish this task easily. You don’t have to fill everything in and you don’t have to do it all today. Start it today and keep working on it until it is done.
Day 18: Take one more day to work on your master file.
Day 19: Take a household inventory. For homeowners and renters insurance to be accurate, you need to know what you own and exactly how much it will cost to replace. Now is a good time to take an inventory of things of value. Collect all the warranty information and put them in one place. If you have any expensive items, make an appointment to have them appraised. Based on your inventory, do you have enough insurance or enough of an emergency fund to self-insure? If not, update your insurance or make a plan to save money to replace them yourself in case of a disaster.
Day 20: Do a bank audit. Are you paying for your checking account or credit card? If you are, it is time to change your bank. Look for a free checking account. Check your local credit union or ask the bank for ways you can avoid paying a fee.
Day 21: Do an interest rate audit. Are you getting the best interest rate possible? Personally, I don’t chase interest rates very often because the current interest rates are so low. But once a year to make sure my money works as best as it can? I will do it! I would keep on it more frequently if I had certificates of deposit, though!
Day 22: Do an investment audit. How much are you paying in expense ratio? Are there ways you can reduce this and improve your return?
Day 23: Do an energy audit. Do you have any energy vampires? Check your local library for a Kill-a-watt device. Our library has a kit that we can borrow to check energy consumption. Check your utilities company to see if they will do a free audit. A lot of them do, and they also provide a discount if you use a preferred company to fix the problems.
Day 24: Fix some of the items in your energy audit. Is there anything that popped up in your energy audit that you can fix yourself easily; for example, adding some simple insulation to the windows?
Day 25: Do a subscription audit. Do you have any subscriptions — magazines, online entertainment like Hulu or Netflix? Check your library’s online services to see if they can be replaced for free. While you are at it, check all the services your library provides. You could save plenty of money by using your library more (cheap tickets to local attractions, magazine subscriptions, museum passes, state park passes, notary public services to name a few).
Day 26: Find more ways to save. Look at your employer’s HR page, your credit card company’s benefits page, your insurance company’s discount page and any other subscription’s (like AAA) pages to see what discounts you are eligible to receive. At my previous job, we were provided a free gym membership. However, most of my colleagues were completely unaware of this benefit. VISA, Master card, American Express and Discover, all provide many benefits to their card holders that can save money with discounted tickets, extended warranties, etc. Make a list of these discounts and keep it handy.
Day 27: Compute your real hourly wage. This is very empowering. If you know how many hours each of your purchases is costing you, you will see everything with a new perspective that will help you save a lot more in the coming months.
Day 28: Take someone out to lunch. Yes, I asked you to spend money! Take someone you admire and want to learn from, out to lunch. Ask questions and listen more. This is probably the best money you can spend for your career.
Day 29: Update your information. Make sure your beneficiary information for all your accounts is updated.
Day 30: Update your will if there has been any change to your assets or life situation since the last time it was updated (or make an appointment with the lawyer to do that as soon as you can).
http://www.getrichslowly.org/blog/2014/12/31/30-days-to-better-finances/
10 Toxic People You Shouldn’t Bring With You Into The New Year
What you will accomplish next year greatly depends on the people you surround yourself with. Or, in other words, it greatly depends on which people you decide not to surround yourself with.
When bringing in the new year, be sure not to bring all your garbage with you. Leave these toxic individuals in 2014; you’ll feel much lighter, allowing you to get a great running start on the year to come.
1. THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE YOUR LIFE MORE STRESSFUL.
Stress isn’t necessarily a bad thing — in fact, it’s what you make it out to be. If you believe stress is bad for you, then it will be bad for you. If you use stress as the motivator it is, to motivate you to act, then stress can actually be rather healthy.
However, you should aim to only be stressed by situations and not by people. If you have people in your life who are constantly managing to stress you out, that’s your mind telling you — and trying to motivate you — to remove them from your life.
Life is stressful as it is. You don’t need someone making it more so.
2. THE PEOPLE WHO USE YOU.
To be fair, everyone uses everyone — and usually it’s OK. We interact with others because we find that it will benefit us in some way. If we didn’t believe it would, then we wouldn’t find sufficient reason to interact with them.
Sometimes we find people in our lives who use us in ways that end up hurting us. Most people will use us and by doing so, either maintain or improve our wellbeing.
Then you have those toxic individuals who use you and leave you worse off, sucking you dry and feeding off you like a parasite.
These sorts of people have no place in your life; don’t bring them into 2015.
3. THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T RESPECT YOU.
Every respectful person deserves to be respected in return; that’s how respect works. If you find that you have a person or people in your life who have difficulty giving you the respect you give them, tell them to buzz off.
Have enough respect for yourself to never allow others to disrespect you and remain a part of your life.
4. THE PEOPLE WHO ALWAYS MANAGE TO HURT YOU.
People can be silly sometimes. The people we keep a part of our lives are the people we care about — or at least, that ought to be the case. Some of these individuals, sadly, end up hurting us and causing us pain.
The problem is that when others cause us pain, we’re reminded of how much those people mean to us. If they could hurt us emotionally, we must care for them and what they think of us a great deal — so we allow them to remain a part of our lives.
Often, we’ll even allow these individuals to take up more room. People hurt other people — it’s just the way the world works. But if you have someone in your life who can’t manage to stop hurting you, do yourself a favor and cut that person off.
Pain is only good if it teaches you a lesson. In this case, the lesson is to stop allowing others to use you as a punching bag.
5. THE PEOPLE WHO CAN’T SEEM TO STOP LYING TO YOU.
Everyone lies. In fact, within the first few minutes of meeting a new person, that person is likely to lie to you a handful of times. Most lies are harmless, but that all changes when the people who are lying to you are the people you trust.
Fill your life with trustworthy people and you’ll be far better off. You can find lies just about anywhere. Finding the truth, on the other hand, is much more rare.
6. THE PEOPLE WHO SMILE TO YOUR FACE AND THEN INSULT YOU BEHIND YOUR BACK.
These are the scum of the scum, cowards that don’t have the guts to speak their minds. These individuals enjoy pretending to be your friend while telling the rest of the world that you’re a piece of sh*t.
These people will ruin your reputation and, as most of us now know, reputation matters a whole lot in the world we live in. Only idiots would start a new year with these sorts of individuals in their life.
7. THE PEOPLE WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT YOU, BUT LOVE TO PRETEND THEY DO.
We’ve all had people in our lives who act like our friends only when it’s convenient for them.
These toxic individuals are “pseudo friends” — a lot of fun to hang out with, and more than willing to accept help, but when you need their help they’re miraculously nowhere to be found.
These individuals are especially toxic because they give you the illusion of a safety net. You think you can lean on them for support, but when you reach for their shoulder, you fall over and hit the ground.
8. THE PEOPLE WHO DRAG YOU BACK INTO YOUR OLD LIFESTYLE.
Life is only interesting and exciting if it’s constantly progressing. Only when we’re constantly moving forward, constantly improving ourselves and our surroundings, are we able to find contentment and happiness.
Most people always manage to keep people in their lives who are holding on to the life you once had.
You have worked hard to progress and make changes, but these individuals prefer life the way it used to be, and do their best to bring you back to the cave you just crawled out of.
Be wary of these folks, they’re often difficult to pinpoint and always manage to revert the progress you worked so hard to make.
9. THE PEOPLE WHO HOLD YOU BACK.
There’s a fact to life that I’ve grown to accept over the past few years — a fact that isn’t especially pleasant, but nonetheless necessary to accept as truth: Many people in your life, the people you call friends, shouldn’t be a part of your life.
As time passes, we change as individuals. Our hopes and goals change, often leaving the relationships we have in place outdated.
Many of the people in your life likely don’t want to live the life you’re building for yourself. Because they’re egocentric, they’ll do their best to create their version of their ideal life and drag you into it.
Most times, people fail to create the life of their dreams because they surround themselves with people aiming for something entirely different.
If your goals aren’t aligned, your lives aren’t either.
10. THE PEOPLE JUST TAKING UP SPACE.
Everything in life is limited. Resources are limited. Time is limited. Space is limited. What you can accomplish within a lifetime is limited. We can’t, and never will be able to, have it all.
This is why you have to be very careful with not only what you choose to do, but with whom you choose to do it with.
You can only maintain a handful of strong relationships at any given time — you just don’t have the time, energy or mental focus to handle more.
If you’re filling your life with half-assed individuals, you’re bound to create a half-assed life. If someone isn’t adding to your life, then, by default, they’re taking away from it.
Leave them in 2014 and build a better inner circle.
http://www.newslinq.com/toxic-people/
Monday, December 29, 2014
Minimalist Photography ~ 4 Tips To Keep It Simple With A Maximum Impact
A Post By: Valerie Jardin
Minimalism is a very subjective concept in the art world. The Webster dictionary defines it as follows: A style or technique that is characterized by extreme spareness and simplicity. Some love it, others hate it, but no one seems to be indifferent. Many artists thrive in the openness of the concept, others have a problem with the lack of definition and direction. Many of us are drawn to ‘less is more’ with simple lines, geometric patterns, strong shadows, contrasting colors, lone subjects, etc. For others, deciding what to leave out of the frame to make a stronger image is a difficult exercise. Here are a few tips and examples to get you started in your quest for minimalist imagery.
1. Composition
“Keep it simple” doesn’t mean “keep it boring”. Contrary to what you may think, a minimalist approach requires a lot of creativity. The use of negative space is an integral part of minimalist photography. A well placed subject doesn’t have to be large to have a big impact. Deciding what to leave out of the frame and create a stronger image can be challenging and often requires a lot of practice until it becomes the way you see. I recommend training yourself to make those decisions in camera instead of cropping unwanted distractions in post processing. A clever use of depth of field will also isolate your subject from the background by shooting with an aperture as wide (smallest number) as your lens will allow.
2. Textures and colors
A bright color or contrasting colors make great minimalist subjects. The same applies to textures. The viewer should be able to almost feel the texture. Sometimes it’s all about finding a creative angle to make the photograph. Don’t be afraid the experiment. Shoot straight on, shoot high or low, work your frame until you get the shot that will speak to you.
3. Lines and geometric patterns
Strong lines make strong images. A good place to get started with minimalist photography is by paying attention to modern architecture around you. Leading lines, and other geometric shapes, can make great backdrops for minimalist pictures. Isolating a bird on a power line, if done well, can make a great minimalist shot. There are great opportunities around you all the time, you just have to learn to see them and that requires practice.
4. Telling a story
Push your minimalist photography to the next level by telling a story. Minimalist street photography showcases an interesting urban landscape with a human element. The human element, however small, becomes the focal point of the image. Yet, it’s the interesting background that draws the photographer to make the shot. Symmetry, lines, curves, shadows all play a vital part in making the photograph. Sometimes the story and the environment come together spontaneously and it’s the photographer’s job to see it and respond quickly. Other times it require a bit of patience for the right subject to walk through the frame. A minimalist approach to photography can be applied in nature as well as in an urban environment. You can practice anywhere, so get out there and open yourself to a different way of seeing with your camera!
http://digital-photography-school.com/minimalist-photography-4-tips-to-keep-it-simple-with-a-maximum-impact/
http://digital-photography-school.com/minimalist-photography-4-tips-to-keep-it-simple-with-a-maximum-impact/
the minimalist’s guide to setting and achieving goals
GOAL SETTING STRATEGY FOR MINIMALISTS
1. choose a maximum of three goals
My recommendation: Select a maximum of three big, exciting goals to work on at a time. Limiting yourself to only a small set of goals forces you to really make sure the goals you pick are meaningful enough, and also helps you avoid spreading yourself too thinly. Remember, both your time and your will power are limited resources, so be selective about what you spend them on.
Make your three (or one, or two) goals ones that would truly make a difference to your life and that get you super excited just by thinking about them. What are the top three things that you want to achieve in 2015? What one achievement would make everything else you want easier to reach? Choose must-haves, not nice-to-haves. If you can only come up with one goal like that, that’s fine too. And: Aim high! The best goals are those that get you ridiculously excited, but also scare you a little bit. For example, if you want to get fit and currently go for a casual run a couple of times a week, don’t just aim for the 10k, shoot for a half-marathon! Only a big, truly inspiring goal will motivate you enough to move past set backs and push through difficult phases.
”Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.”
(Norman Vincent Peale)
2. understand your motivation behind each goal
If your goal is exciting and big enough, it will take a lot of effort and time to achieve, whether you want to start a business, write a book, learn a language or work towards a promotion. And during that time you will undoubtedly feel tired, exhausted and like giving up at some point. The comfort-seeking parts of your brain will try to convince you that it’s ok to give up, that your current status quo is totally fine and the effort isn’t worth it. Your best safeguard: A written, detailed summary of your entire motivation, carrot-and-stick style.
Reserve at least twenty minutes per goal to really figure out WHY you want to achieve it. Why do you want to find a better job, get fit or start your own business? What is your core motivation for it, what aspects of your life will improve and how will you feel? Open up a new document on your computer and just write, write, write, until you have captured all of your emotions and your reasoning behind your goal.
Focus on both the benefits of achieving your goal AND the downsides of not reaching it or just leaving everything as is. For example, if you want to get promoted this year:
Benefits of getting promoted:
More creative freedom!
Less administrative work
One step closer to dream job
Higher salary (enough to move into better apartment)
Downsides of staying in old position:
Less autonomy
Few development opportunities
Feeling like I’m not living up to my potential
Very rigid work schedule
These are just bullet point examples, feel free to go into a lot more detail. Writing everything down like this will not only supercharge your motivation levels, it also helps you doublecheck that you have chosen the right goals: If you find it very difficult to come up with a powerful reason for why you want to achieve one of your goals, chances are your heart isn’t in it.
3. focus on the process, not the outcome
Once you have figured out why you want to achieve your goals, it’s time to plan out the HOW. Now, instead of mapping out every sub-goal and creating a rigid time schedule, i.e. being very outcome-driven, try a different approach: Focus on the process, the daily habits that will get you there.
For example, if one of your goals is to write a book/paper/thesis in 2015, instead of setting due dates for every chapter, commit to sitting down to write every single day for two hours, continuously improving your craft and enjoying the process. Prepare everything that will help you stick to your habit in advance, i.e. figure out at what times you’ll write, what tools you need, what your work space will look like, what your creative process will be, etc.
Focusing on habits instead of outcomes has three major benefits:
it’s an effective way to avoid that ‘living for the future’ mentality and helps you be mindful on a daily basis.
it makes it a lot more likely that you will actually achieve your goals, because it bridges the gap between wishful thinking and your daily routine and needs.
it reduces stress by giving you more control and putting the focus on small, manageable bursts of effort rather than one huge chunk of work.
Plus: Any good habits that you build up for the purpose of one of your goals this year will stay with you long after you have reached that goal. Which means your outcome will not only be easier to maintain, but it will also be a lot easier for you to achieve other, related goals in the future.
Extra tip: Once I have finished all my goal-planning for the year, I like to also write a casual list of all the things that I want to do during the next 12 months for no reason other than that they are fun or interesting. Little things like checking out a new museum or baking something fun, but also bigger things like a trip to NYC for example. The list helps me keep my focus on the present whenever I’m on the verge of getting too caught up in the goal chase.
http://into-mind.com/2014/12/28/the-minimalists-guide-to-setting-and-achieving-goals/
1. choose a maximum of three goals
My recommendation: Select a maximum of three big, exciting goals to work on at a time. Limiting yourself to only a small set of goals forces you to really make sure the goals you pick are meaningful enough, and also helps you avoid spreading yourself too thinly. Remember, both your time and your will power are limited resources, so be selective about what you spend them on.
Make your three (or one, or two) goals ones that would truly make a difference to your life and that get you super excited just by thinking about them. What are the top three things that you want to achieve in 2015? What one achievement would make everything else you want easier to reach? Choose must-haves, not nice-to-haves. If you can only come up with one goal like that, that’s fine too. And: Aim high! The best goals are those that get you ridiculously excited, but also scare you a little bit. For example, if you want to get fit and currently go for a casual run a couple of times a week, don’t just aim for the 10k, shoot for a half-marathon! Only a big, truly inspiring goal will motivate you enough to move past set backs and push through difficult phases.
”Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land amongst the stars.”
(Norman Vincent Peale)
2. understand your motivation behind each goal
If your goal is exciting and big enough, it will take a lot of effort and time to achieve, whether you want to start a business, write a book, learn a language or work towards a promotion. And during that time you will undoubtedly feel tired, exhausted and like giving up at some point. The comfort-seeking parts of your brain will try to convince you that it’s ok to give up, that your current status quo is totally fine and the effort isn’t worth it. Your best safeguard: A written, detailed summary of your entire motivation, carrot-and-stick style.
Reserve at least twenty minutes per goal to really figure out WHY you want to achieve it. Why do you want to find a better job, get fit or start your own business? What is your core motivation for it, what aspects of your life will improve and how will you feel? Open up a new document on your computer and just write, write, write, until you have captured all of your emotions and your reasoning behind your goal.
Focus on both the benefits of achieving your goal AND the downsides of not reaching it or just leaving everything as is. For example, if you want to get promoted this year:
Benefits of getting promoted:
More creative freedom!
Less administrative work
One step closer to dream job
Higher salary (enough to move into better apartment)
Downsides of staying in old position:
Less autonomy
Few development opportunities
Feeling like I’m not living up to my potential
Very rigid work schedule
These are just bullet point examples, feel free to go into a lot more detail. Writing everything down like this will not only supercharge your motivation levels, it also helps you doublecheck that you have chosen the right goals: If you find it very difficult to come up with a powerful reason for why you want to achieve one of your goals, chances are your heart isn’t in it.
3. focus on the process, not the outcome
Once you have figured out why you want to achieve your goals, it’s time to plan out the HOW. Now, instead of mapping out every sub-goal and creating a rigid time schedule, i.e. being very outcome-driven, try a different approach: Focus on the process, the daily habits that will get you there.
For example, if one of your goals is to write a book/paper/thesis in 2015, instead of setting due dates for every chapter, commit to sitting down to write every single day for two hours, continuously improving your craft and enjoying the process. Prepare everything that will help you stick to your habit in advance, i.e. figure out at what times you’ll write, what tools you need, what your work space will look like, what your creative process will be, etc.
Focusing on habits instead of outcomes has three major benefits:
it’s an effective way to avoid that ‘living for the future’ mentality and helps you be mindful on a daily basis.
it makes it a lot more likely that you will actually achieve your goals, because it bridges the gap between wishful thinking and your daily routine and needs.
it reduces stress by giving you more control and putting the focus on small, manageable bursts of effort rather than one huge chunk of work.
Plus: Any good habits that you build up for the purpose of one of your goals this year will stay with you long after you have reached that goal. Which means your outcome will not only be easier to maintain, but it will also be a lot easier for you to achieve other, related goals in the future.
Extra tip: Once I have finished all my goal-planning for the year, I like to also write a casual list of all the things that I want to do during the next 12 months for no reason other than that they are fun or interesting. Little things like checking out a new museum or baking something fun, but also bigger things like a trip to NYC for example. The list helps me keep my focus on the present whenever I’m on the verge of getting too caught up in the goal chase.
http://into-mind.com/2014/12/28/the-minimalists-guide-to-setting-and-achieving-goals/
Sunday, December 28, 2014
Many changes but one step at a time
Changing your life is a marathon. There are thousands of tiny steps that need to be taken, one at a time. You can’t do them all right now.
Tuesday, December 23, 2014
Des applications IPads pour toutes les disciplines Et qui peuvent définitivement être utilisées dans n'importe quelle classe
1. Expliquer et démontrer
Explain everything: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/explain-everything/id431493086?mt=8
Show Me: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/showme-interactive-whiteboard/id445066279?mt=8
Tellagami: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/tellagami/id572737805?mt=8
2. Annoter des documents
Notability: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/notability/id360593530?mt=8
3. Consulter, organiser et partager des documents
Dropbox: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/dropbox/id327630330?mt=8
4. Prise et partage de notes
Evernote: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/evernote/id281796108?l=fr&mt=8
5. Créer des présentations
Keynote: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/keynote/id361285480?mt=8
Haiku Deck: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/haiku-deck-presentation-slideshow/id536328724?mt=8
PowerPoint: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/microsoft-powerpoint-pour/id586449534?mt=8
6. Écrire des textes
Pages: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/pages/id361309726?mt=8
Word: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/microsoft-word-pour-ipad/id586447913?mt=8
7. Organiser graphiquement ses idées
Popplet: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/popplet-lite/id364738549?mt=8
Inspiration: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/inspiration-maps/id510031612?l=fr&mt=8
Mindmeister: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/mindmeister-mind-mapping/id381073026?mt=8
8. Partager l'écran d'un iPad
Re ector: http://www.airsquirrels.com/re ector/
Air Server: http://www.airserver.com/
9. Rechercher de l'information
Google: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/google/id284815942?l=fr&mt=8
Firefox: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/sync-for- refox/id468995230?mt=8
Pu n: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/pu n-web-browser/id406239138?mt=8
10. Encourager les apprenants à communiquer
Email (gmail): https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/gmail-la-messagerie-selon/id422689480?mt=8
Twitter: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/twitter/id333903271?mt=8
Skype: https://itunes.apple.com/ca/app/skype-for-ipad/id442012681?l=fr&mt=8
11. Enregistrer simplement du son
Dictaphone: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/gmail-la-messagerie-selon/id422689480?mt=8
Audio Memos Free: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/audio-memos-free-voice-recorder/id304075033?mt=8
12. Prendre et éditer simplement des photos
Photoshop Express: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/adobe-photoshop-express/id331975235?mt=8
PhotoSketch: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/photo-sketch-pencil-avatar/id600380311?mt=8
13. Filmer et réaliser simplement des montages vidéo
iMovie: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/imovie/id377298193?mt=8
Magisto: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/magisto-magical-video-editor/id486781045?mt=8
14. Consulter, partager, organiser et archiver des ressources, particulièrement en éducation
iTunesU: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/itunes-u/id490217893?mt=8
Flipboard: https://itunes.apple.com/fr/app/ ipboard-lactualite-votre/id358801284?mt=8 2014
Par Thierry KARSENTI, M.A., M.Ed., Ph.D.
Titulaire de la Chaire de recherche du Canada sur les
technologies en éducation, Université de Montréal
@ThierryUdM http://karsenti.ca
10 ways to de-stress your day hour by hour
8 am
Have a morning ritual
Instead of immediately checking your emails and social media feeds after waking up, start your day slowly, with a morning ritual to set the tone for the day and gather your thoughts. A great thing to add to your ritual is writing. Get coffee and sit down at a desk for a couple of minutes to write about anything that comes into your head. Your plans for the day, things you are looking forward to, what you dreamt last night, anything. Or: meditate. Even just 10 minutes of daily meditation have been shown to greatly reduce cortisol levels and anxiety, by soothing the nervous system and rewiring our brain’s responses to stress triggers. I use Headspace to meditate 15-20 minutes in the morning and it’s definitely one of my favourite parts of the day.
9am
Be selective about your reading material
An easy way to curb everyday stress is to limit the amount of information you consume during the day. If you are often overwhelmed by the number of articles and links you want to check out, practice being a little more selective about what you read. The amount of information your brain can process is limited, so instead of filling it with ‘empty calories’ like tabloid junk, endless news articles and celebrity gossip, fill it with things that are meaningful to you. For undistracted reading, use an app like Instapaper or Pocket to save longer articles for later.
10 am
Streamline your to-do list
If you work all day, rush from one meeting to another, write email after email, but often feel like you have little to show for it at night, it’s time to re-think how you structure your day. Try this: Set clear priorities and limit the number of things you aim to achieve within one day, but make those tasks ones that will truly make a difference. Start your work day by listing no more that 1-3 things that you want to accomplish today, your MITs (most important tasks). What tasks will really propel you forward and get you a big step closer to your goals? Chances are, things like doing laundry, formatting a document or responding to emails won’t make the cut, but tasks like finally writing that proposal, designing a new concept or writing another chapter will. Focus on completing your MITs first thing in the morning, while your mind is still fresh and not cluttered up with day to day minutiae. You can always tackle the smaller things that require less brain power later on in the day.
11am
Create a distraction-free work zone
Once you’ve figured out your MITs, really focus on them, without distractions and without switching back and forth between other stuff. Multi-tasking may make you feel more productive, but research has shown that it really just slows you down, reduces the quality of your work and drains energy. So: Close all tabs, turn your phone on silent and, if you work in an office, put your headphones on (even without music) to signal to other people that you are busy and not available for chats right now. If you are used to multitasking, focusing on one single thing may feel difficult at first. Practice with shorter single-task sessions of 15-25 minutes and then gradually work your way up. Consider using a timer to help you focus and stick to regular breaks. I use an app called the Simple Pomodoro Timer and a rhythm of 25 minute work sessions with a 5 minute break after each, plus a 25 minute break after every 2 hours.
2pm
Deal with emails in short bursts
Emailing can be such a time thief and a way to avoid doing what’s really important, so it’s best to limit the number of times a day you deal with your emails and reserve it for low-energy periods. As a first step, turn off any notifications that plop up on your screen to reduce the temptation to deal with incoming emails right away, while you want to focus on other stuff. Or even better: Close your email programme completely. Then, at designated times during the day, process your emails all in one go. The key here is to only open every email once and decide what to do with it straight away. Either delete it, act on it or reply (if it’s something quick) or flag it/star it/file it for later processing. Add all appointments and dates you have to remember to your calendar immediately. Don’t leave read emails that still need some form of action sitting in your inbox. In short: Tie up all loose ends each time you process your emails so you can forget about them until next time and focus on more important stuff.
4pm
Batch smaller tasks
If you focused on your MITs at the beginning of the day, at this point you’ll likely have quite a few little things left to do. The best way to keep smaller task from draining your energy and cluttering up your schedule is to batch them. Create a separate list for 5 to 20 minute jobs and then add to it throughout the day, whenever something new comes up. Then, once a day in the afternoon or even just a couple of times per week, take an hour or so to go through your list. Deal with paper work and other administrative stuff, make all phone calls, write longer emails, fix technical issues, prep the mail and complete all pending smaller tasks.
6pm
Protect your off-hours
If you are passionate about your career it can be hard to switch off, but remember that, just like your body, your brain needs time to recharge after a long day in order to stay healthy and productive. If you work in an office, you have the benefit of being able to physically leave your work place at night, so make sure you protect that separation and don’t take work home with you unless absolutely necessary. And, I know this is a bit of a controversial one, but if you can I would always suggest you don’t put your work email account on the phone that you take home with you, and don’t check work emails at night or on the weekends. If something came up, you would most likely only be able to deal with it in the morning or on Mondays anyway, so knowing about it early would only unnecessarily stress you out. I know, depending on your job, this may not be an option, but if it is, definitely give it a go and protect your off-time hours. If you work from home, keeping a healthy work/life separation can be a little trickier. Two basic tips: Aim for regular office hours and figure out your own ‘leaving work’ ritual to signal to your brain that it’s time to relax. Take a walk around the block for example, or simply clean up your desk area and close all work-related tabs/folders.
7pm
Learn something
For me one of the most gratifying and fun ways to de-stress during the week is to learn something new. I love diving into new topics and teaching myself new skills. The key to making it fun is to approach it without expectations and without being too results-oriented. You are just discovering something new, to expand your horizon and see if you like it and are free to quit at anytime. Getting started is easy: Pick a skill or topic that you’ve always been curious about, then find a book, a local class or an online class and learn a little more each day. Learn French, read up on Greek philosophy or art history. Learn how to code or draw, practice your photography, write short stories or learn about video editing, whatever you like. Some great online resources: Skillshare, Lynda and Coursera.
9pm
Do something purely for fun
In today’s goal-oriented culture it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of always chasing something, always preparing for some time in the future. As if everything we do is only a means to an end and not real life yet. A key step to living a simpler, more intentional life is to make it a point to enjoy the here and now. Even regular weekdays. Do something each day that you can look forward to. Something that you like, not because it helps you reach your goals, but just because it’s fun. Meet up with friends, go see a play, take a bubble bath, or even just cook a nice meal and have some alone time with a book for 20 minutes.
10pm
Re-think your approach to social media
Yes, social media keeps us connected, but it can also be a huge source of stress, envy and social pressure. Take a moment to assess how your social media usage is making you feel. Do you mainly enjoy it and look forward to scrolling through your feeds, getting creative with your own posts and connecting with others? Or do you sometimes feel guilty when you don’t post as often as you had planned, overwhelmed by the number of messages you have to respond to or pressured to post better and more interesting content? If the negatives outweigh the positives, consider putting your social self on hiatus, even just for a couple of weeks. And: Unless you are using your accounts for work, there is really no need to have an outpost on every single channel just because. Pick whichever ones you truly enjoy and that add something to your day, and drop the others.
10 am
Streamline your to-do list
If you work all day, rush from one meeting to another, write email after email, but often feel like you have little to show for it at night, it’s time to re-think how you structure your day. Try this: Set clear priorities and limit the number of things you aim to achieve within one day, but make those tasks ones that will truly make a difference. Start your work day by listing no more that 1-3 things that you want to accomplish today, your MITs (most important tasks). What tasks will really propel you forward and get you a big step closer to your goals? Chances are, things like doing laundry, formatting a document or responding to emails won’t make the cut, but tasks like finally writing that proposal, designing a new concept or writing another chapter will. Focus on completing your MITs first thing in the morning, while your mind is still fresh and not cluttered up with day to day minutiae. You can always tackle the smaller things that require less brain power later on in the day.
11am
Create a distraction-free work zone
Once you’ve figured out your MITs, really focus on them, without distractions and without switching back and forth between other stuff. Multi-tasking may make you feel more productive, but research has shown that it really just slows you down, reduces the quality of your work and drains energy. So: Close all tabs, turn your phone on silent and, if you work in an office, put your headphones on (even without music) to signal to other people that you are busy and not available for chats right now. If you are used to multitasking, focusing on one single thing may feel difficult at first. Practice with shorter single-task sessions of 15-25 minutes and then gradually work your way up. Consider using a timer to help you focus and stick to regular breaks. I use an app called the Simple Pomodoro Timer and a rhythm of 25 minute work sessions with a 5 minute break after each, plus a 25 minute break after every 2 hours.
2pm
Deal with emails in short bursts
Emailing can be such a time thief and a way to avoid doing what’s really important, so it’s best to limit the number of times a day you deal with your emails and reserve it for low-energy periods. As a first step, turn off any notifications that plop up on your screen to reduce the temptation to deal with incoming emails right away, while you want to focus on other stuff. Or even better: Close your email programme completely. Then, at designated times during the day, process your emails all in one go. The key here is to only open every email once and decide what to do with it straight away. Either delete it, act on it or reply (if it’s something quick) or flag it/star it/file it for later processing. Add all appointments and dates you have to remember to your calendar immediately. Don’t leave read emails that still need some form of action sitting in your inbox. In short: Tie up all loose ends each time you process your emails so you can forget about them until next time and focus on more important stuff.
4pm
Batch smaller tasks
If you focused on your MITs at the beginning of the day, at this point you’ll likely have quite a few little things left to do. The best way to keep smaller task from draining your energy and cluttering up your schedule is to batch them. Create a separate list for 5 to 20 minute jobs and then add to it throughout the day, whenever something new comes up. Then, once a day in the afternoon or even just a couple of times per week, take an hour or so to go through your list. Deal with paper work and other administrative stuff, make all phone calls, write longer emails, fix technical issues, prep the mail and complete all pending smaller tasks.
6pm
Protect your off-hours
If you are passionate about your career it can be hard to switch off, but remember that, just like your body, your brain needs time to recharge after a long day in order to stay healthy and productive. If you work in an office, you have the benefit of being able to physically leave your work place at night, so make sure you protect that separation and don’t take work home with you unless absolutely necessary. And, I know this is a bit of a controversial one, but if you can I would always suggest you don’t put your work email account on the phone that you take home with you, and don’t check work emails at night or on the weekends. If something came up, you would most likely only be able to deal with it in the morning or on Mondays anyway, so knowing about it early would only unnecessarily stress you out. I know, depending on your job, this may not be an option, but if it is, definitely give it a go and protect your off-time hours. If you work from home, keeping a healthy work/life separation can be a little trickier. Two basic tips: Aim for regular office hours and figure out your own ‘leaving work’ ritual to signal to your brain that it’s time to relax. Take a walk around the block for example, or simply clean up your desk area and close all work-related tabs/folders.
7pm
Learn something
For me one of the most gratifying and fun ways to de-stress during the week is to learn something new. I love diving into new topics and teaching myself new skills. The key to making it fun is to approach it without expectations and without being too results-oriented. You are just discovering something new, to expand your horizon and see if you like it and are free to quit at anytime. Getting started is easy: Pick a skill or topic that you’ve always been curious about, then find a book, a local class or an online class and learn a little more each day. Learn French, read up on Greek philosophy or art history. Learn how to code or draw, practice your photography, write short stories or learn about video editing, whatever you like. Some great online resources: Skillshare, Lynda and Coursera.
9pm
Do something purely for fun
In today’s goal-oriented culture it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of always chasing something, always preparing for some time in the future. As if everything we do is only a means to an end and not real life yet. A key step to living a simpler, more intentional life is to make it a point to enjoy the here and now. Even regular weekdays. Do something each day that you can look forward to. Something that you like, not because it helps you reach your goals, but just because it’s fun. Meet up with friends, go see a play, take a bubble bath, or even just cook a nice meal and have some alone time with a book for 20 minutes.
10pm
Re-think your approach to social media
Yes, social media keeps us connected, but it can also be a huge source of stress, envy and social pressure. Take a moment to assess how your social media usage is making you feel. Do you mainly enjoy it and look forward to scrolling through your feeds, getting creative with your own posts and connecting with others? Or do you sometimes feel guilty when you don’t post as often as you had planned, overwhelmed by the number of messages you have to respond to or pressured to post better and more interesting content? If the negatives outweigh the positives, consider putting your social self on hiatus, even just for a couple of weeks. And: Unless you are using your accounts for work, there is really no need to have an outpost on every single channel just because. Pick whichever ones you truly enjoy and that add something to your day, and drop the others.
your year in review: 50 questions to help you reflect, appreciate and get excited for 2015
2014-
1.What one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about?
2.If you had to describe your 2014 in 3 words, what would they be?
3.What new things did you discover about yourself?
4.What single achievement are you most proud of?
5.What was the best news you received?
6.What was your favourite place that you visited in 2014?
7.Which of your personal qualities turned out to be the most helpful this year?
8.Who was your number one go-to person that you could always rely on?
9.Which new skills did you learn?
10.What, or who, are you most thankful for?
11.If someone wrote a book about your life in 2014, what kind of genre would it be? A comedy, love story, drama, film noir or something else?
12.What was the most important lesson you learnt in 2014?
13.Which mental block(s) did you overcome?
14.What 5 people did you most enjoy spending time with?
15.What was your biggest break-through moment career-wise?
16.How did your relationship to your family evolve?
17.What book or movie affected your life in a profound way?
18.What was your favourite compliment that you received this year?
19.What little things did you most enjoy during your day-to-day life?
20.What cool things did you create this year?
21.What was your most common mental state this year (e.g. excited, curious, stressed)?
22.Was there anything you did for the very first time in your life this year?
23.What was your favourite moment spent with your friends?
24.What major goal did you lay the foundations for?
25.Which worries turned out to be completely unnecessary?
26.What experience would you love to do all over again?
27.What was the best gift you received?
28.How did your overall outlook on life evolve?
29.What was the biggest problem you solved?
30.What was the funniest moment of your year, one that still makes it hard not to burst out laughing when you think about it?
31.What purchase turned out to be the best decision ever?
32.What one thing would you do differently and why?
33.What do you deserve a pat on the back for?
34.What activities made you lose track of time?
35.What did you think about more than anything else?
36.What topics did you most enjoy learning about?
37.What new habits did you cultivate?
38.What advice would you give your early-2014 self if you could?
39.Did any parts of your self or your life do a complete 180 this year?
40.What or who had the biggest positive impact on your life this year?
2015-
41.What do you want the overarching theme for your 2015 to be?
42.What do you want to see, discover, explore?
43.Who do you want to spend more time with in 2015?
44.What skills do you want to learn, improve or master?
45.Which personal quality do you want to develop or strengthen?
46.What do you want your everyday life to be like?
47.Which habits do you want to change, cultivate or get rid of?
48.What do you want to achieve career-wise?
49.How do you want to remember the year 2015 when you look back on it 10/20/50 years from now?
50.What is your number one goal for 2015?
Monday, December 22, 2014
29 things to remember in 2015
29 SMALL REMINDERS wow
1. Choose a narrow path. The sooner you pinpoint exactly what you want to achieve in your life, what you want your legacy to be, the sooner it will happen for you. Don’t choose the well beaten path; create your own. Dare to be different and aim for the moon (in order to reach the stars).
2. Embrace change. If life were consistent and without ups and downs, it would be boring, bleak and monotone. We’re here to dodge bullets, get back up when we’re kicked down and make decisions for ourselves. It’s all about building your character. Never fear change, it could be exactly what you need.
3. Its okay to eat cereal for dinner. You only live once…
4. Own your mistakes. The only way to learn is to make mistakes. The only way to learn from mistakes is to own them. You’ll be surprised how much people will value you for owning your mistakes, no matter how small your role in them.
5. Appreciate what you have before you ask for more. Because there is always someone worse off than you.
6. Take care of your body. It’s the only place you have to live. But never forget you don’t have a body, you have a soul. Your exterior will never define your interior.
7. Who you are is not what you have; its what you do with what you have. Ever noticed how some of the happiest people in the world have the least? It isn’t about what you have (material things or achievements), but what you decide to do with that. Your life is your legacy. How do you want to be remembered?
8. Be Loyal. In love, friendships, and most importantly with your family. Stay true to your word.
9. Laugh more.
10. Words are powerful. It takes just two to commit your life to another. Words are powerful – choose them wisely.
11. You can never be over educated. Want to learn another language? Its better late than never. Thinking about taking art classes? You never know what it will lead to. You are only limited by your choices.
12. Be gracious. Be humble. Be kind.
13. Live in a new place. You will be surprised as to just how much our surrounds shape us.
14. Live within your means. Life isn’t about keeping up with the Jones’s.
15. Have an opinion. Voice it, engage in healthy debate, but never be rigid and close-minded.
16. Be proud. Credit where credit is due. Learn to welcome compliments and accept them – by doing so you will provide value to them and soak them up like a sponge. It will lead to better work in the future.
17. Accept criticism. But know when to distinguish between constructive criticism and a genuine insult. If someone insults you, it says more about them than it could ever say about you.
18. Get outdoors more.
19. Spend time with anyone older than you. Age = experience. Experience = wisdom. Spend time with your grandparents and ask questions. No one stays on this earth forever – make the most of the time you have.
20. Be honest. People will value your opinion if it is raw, honest and made with consideration.
21. Don’t give money, give your time. There is no greater gift than your time.
22. Take a day off. Do something you have always wanted to do. By yourself.
23. Track your finances better.
24. Work hard(er). Set your goals higher and higher… your limits are only those you believe to be true.
25. Smile at strangers.
26. Keep a journal. Sometimes the best way to clear your mind and keep a clear vision is to jot down your thoughts at the end of the day or week. Consider what you did, who you met, how you felt, what was on your mind. Think outside the box and sort through your thoughts rather than offloading your troubles onto someone else.
27. Escape into a film. Bad day? Don’t dwell on it. Escape to someone else’s reality or jump inside a fiction. Two hours later you’ll have forgotten the trivialities.
28. You are the company you keep. If your friends aren’t bringing joy into your life, maybe you’ve outgrown them. Don’t be afraid to make new friends that understand you (and where you’re at in life right now). Adapt. Change. Learn. Grow. Evolve.
29. You’ll never be as young as you are right now.
5 Cures for the Wondering Mind
5 CURES FOR YOUR WANDERING MIND
Matt Cooke
February 19, 2013
The mind states or hindrances are a set of Buddhist concepts that deal with what our minds are doing when we aren’t showing up in the moment. These mind states are what pull us from our present experience, and create suffering. Luckily for us, early Buddhists were also brilliant in coming up with a cure for each of the fluctuations of the mind.
Desire
Want, lust, greed, clinging, addiction, neediness or lack, pleasure sense experiences, or daydreaming about a friend or colleague. Desire can occur anytime we start to envision a “better” future, which is great for goal-setting, but maybe not right when it detracts from our moment-to-moment experience.
Cure: Commitment and holding to what is presently there. Recommitting to it with affirmations, or a personal creed you read daily to remind you of your value system.
Aversion
Anger, boredom, negativity, judgment, fear, repulsion, hatred, ill-will, wanting it to be different, planning-mind. Byron Katie says, “When I argue with reality, I lose - but only 100% of the time.”
Cure: Generate loving thoughts for what you find an aversion for. It will feel phony at first, because it is! But continue to breath, relax, feel, watch, and allow.
Cure 2: Look at how you can “co-create” with the moment, taking what you are given. Make the moment saucy, given the cards you are dealt.
Sloth/Torpor
Sloth is probably one of the more common mind states in a society where we are constantly inundated with flashing pictures, voices, smells, and action all around. It zaps energy, and leaves us tired, mentally scattered, and usually feeling like a blob on the couch with a favorite sweet or salty snack.
Cure: One-pointed concentration. By concentrating, you are shoring up your scattered resources of energy to focus on your moment-to-moment experience and all the wonderful things happening around you.
Restlessness
When we can’t sit still, worry, get anxious, make something out of nothing, fret, regret, grieve or ruminate. Depressants and alcohol only mask these symptoms, and throw ice cubes in the boiling water, rather than turning off the burner.
Cure: Instead, find determination by lengthening the inhale and exhale, and softening the jaw. As Dale Carnegie says, “Relax in odd moments. Let your body go limp like an old sock.” Is now a good time for a savasana break?
Doubt
Creating the most suffering of the mind states is doubt. This is also the hardest mind state to notice, because it can be easy to believe, and the hardest to move out of. Doubt can range from our insecurities, regrets, making ourselves or our experience wrong.
Cure: Sustain your attention in the heat of the moment, cultivate confidence and take massive action when you are struck with inspiration.
The Limbic System
Researchers from the University of Toronto, Zindel Segal and Adam Anderson, are finding that internal awareness such as tuning into the breath, turns off the frontal cortex, or the mental chatter part of the brain where the mind states fester, and moves to our more ancient brain, the limbic system, where we feel emotion and physical awareness.
Yoga and other contemplative practices move us towards slowing down the fluctuations of the mind. These cures also give us greater reward by challenging the nervous system and brain to grow, by mentally doing what might not be the easiest or most convenient shift of thinking in that moment.
Action
Maybe one or all of these resonate for you. Over the next 24 hours, see which mind state your mind floats to most. Do this by noticing the thoughts that come up by labeling the mind state, and let the thought float on past the screen of your consciousness. Journal about why you tend to shift towards a particular mind state more than others or the moment you’re in. Then focus on one way you can fit its cure into your lifestyle, leading to more productivity and moment-to-moment happiness.
Matt Cooke is a 200-hour Kripalu Certified Yoga teacher and 5th year senior at the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point, studying Health Promotion/Wellness and Musical Theater. Matt’s yoga classes are a sweet blend of living optimally, and taking action to soften to our Creative Warriors!
Website: Creative Warrior Yoga
Facebook: Creative Warrior Yoga
Twitter: @MattCookeYoga
About the Author
Matt is a RYT-500 yoga instructor, success coach and author, impassioned to inspire action off the mat.
Wednesday, December 17, 2014
36 things I know after 36 yrs of marriage
Winifred
M. Reilly
12/15/14 02:18 PM ET
This week, my husband and I will celebrate our 36th anniversary.
Some years we've gotten dressed-up and gone out to dinner. Other years we've simply marked the day with a kiss.
Once, we were both sick with the flu and I vaguely remember clinking our glasses of orange juice together and then sleeping right through the day.
Then there was the year when we were so embroiled in struggle that we let the day pass without even a word.
That's what marriage is: richer, poorer, good times and bad. Each year with its surprises and challenges, its hard fought lessons, its moments of sweetness.
To honor our many years together, here are 36 lessons I've found most valuable:
1. If you think marriage would have been much easier with somebody else, you're probably wrong.
2. Most marital problems are fixable. Really. Even the tough ones.
3. The D word (divorce) is a dangerous weapon. I suggest the F word instead: frustrated. Nobody's heart will be broken if you say, "I'm so FRUSTRATED I could scream!"
4. The term wedded bliss should be stricken from every couple's vocabulary. Marriage is wonderful in many ways, but expecting bliss makes the inevitable rough times seem like a problem when they're simply part of the deal.
5. That bit about how your partner won't change: Wrong. My husband and I met in our early 20s. If we'd both stayed just as we were, we'd still be two naïve kids, stubbornly insisting we have to have things our way, thinking marriage shouldn't be as challenging as it is.
6. Marriage doesn't get good or stay good all on its own.
7. Every one of us is, in our own way, difficult to live with. Beginning to work on even one of your own problem behaviors will make a big difference in the quality of your marriage. Added bonus: your spouse will greatly appreciate it!
8. People who are unhappily married sometimes think marriage is the problem -- that marriage is unnatural or outdated or impossible to do well. There's not a third entity called marriage. Everything that goes on between you is your creation. Each of you playing your part. Why not create something worthwhile?
9. Marriage is a "learn on the job" proposition. None of us comes into it with all the skills we need for success. When the going gets rough it's most often a sign that we need some new skills -- not a sign that we need a new spouse.
10. Struggle in marriage is not only inevitable, it's necessary. None of us can grow a strong and healthy relationship without having to face and resolve difficult issues.
11. Even the best marriage can't make up for the difficulties we faced growing up. We all come with childhood injuries. Thinking your spouse can make you feel safe and secure when you're wobbly inside is too much to ask. The sooner (and more effectively) you deal with your "stuff," the healthier and more satisfying your marriage will be.
12. Love grows as much from the challenges we face and surmount together as from the delights that we share.
13. Marriage is a long negotiation about how two people are going to run things. Money. Intimacy. Parenting. Chores. You can battle, or you can collaborate. Collaboration is a lot more rewarding.
14. Even the most stubborn among us can learn how to yield. Trust me on this one.
15. Most of your spouse's upsets and frustrations aren't about you -- but some are. The sooner you figure out which is which, the better off you'll be.
16. During hard times, commitment may be your saving grace. The fact that, way back when, you said "'till death do us part" may be the only reason you keep two feet in long enough to fix what's not going well. And that's reason enough.
17. Marriage can make you a better person or a worse person. It's your choice.
18. Complaints and criticisms aren't the same thing as requests for change.
19. Discouragement is one of the greatest threats to marriage. I've seen struggling couples give up on marriages that could quite likely be saved had they been given the proper guidance and encouragement to hang in there and fix things.
20. Thinking you have a 50-50 chance of ending up divorced makes it seem like a coin toss. It's not. There are some behaviors that nearly guarantee failure. We all know what they are. It's a good idea to not do them.
21. Being nice helps.
22. Saying thank-you does, too.
23. The happier I am about my own life, the less irritated I am about my husband's irritating behaviors.
24. A good marriage will have its share of conflict, frustration, boredom, unresolvable arguments, slammed doors and nights where one person sleeps on the couch. The key is to have enough good things to balance them out.
25. It's not always easy to keep your heart open.
26. Love matters. While love doesn't heal all, even (especially) during hard times, love is a touchstone, a reminder of why you got together in the first place.
27. Marriage is not an antidote for loneliness. While marriage provides companionship, closeness and connection are not a constant. Sometimes we're in sync. Sometimes we're not. It's important to be able to soothe and comfort yourself when need be.
28. It's easy to get into a rut when you're with the same person, year after year. Sex. Vacations. Dinner. How you spend Saturday night. Change things. Add some spice.
29. Most good marriages have one person who plays the role of the relationship "guardian": The person who brings up difficult subjects. The person who stays hopeful in hard times. The person who acts as a steadying influence when one or both of you are getting worked-up. In an ideal world, that role would be shared. In the real world it only takes one.
30. One of the best things to do in the midst of a fight is to stop fighting. Take a break. Cool down. Come back to it later. Hotheads are terrible problem solvers.
31. Some conflicts cannot be resolved by compromise. (We can't have half a child or buy half a vacation home). When there's no such thing as "meeting halfway," the solution becomes a matter of generosity, where one person says "yes" to their second choice and the other acknowledges that as a gift.
32. Fights are never about content. Where we store the dish soap, whether it's quicker to take the frontage road or the freeway, whether it's horribly rude not to answer a text -- none of these are worth getting ourselves all in a twist. Our upsets are about the larger meaning we make of that unanswered text, that resistance to influence, that refusal to take seriously the things we request. It's really helpful to accurately name what's setting you off.
33. There's a big difference between being happily married and living happily ever after. None of us are happy 24/7. Thank goodness we don't need to be.
34. When you think to yourself, I really shouldn't say this, you're probably right.
35. Learning how to make up is essential since you'll never, ever, get to a point where neither one of you screws up.
36. One of you has to go first. Apologize first. Be vulnerable first. Yield first. Forgive first. Why not let that person be you?
--
Have a friend who might like this post? Please share!
Looking to have a more satisfying marriage? Get my free bonus article: 75 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Starting Today
Also on The Huffington Post: 25 Ways to Say I Love You Without Saying a Word and Give Your Spouse The Gift That Can't Go Wrong
This week, my husband and I will celebrate our 36th anniversary.
Some years we've gotten dressed-up and gone out to dinner. Other years we've simply marked the day with a kiss.
Once, we were both sick with the flu and I vaguely remember clinking our glasses of orange juice together and then sleeping right through the day.
Then there was the year when we were so embroiled in struggle that we let the day pass without even a word.
That's what marriage is: richer, poorer, good times and bad. Each year with its surprises and challenges, its hard fought lessons, its moments of sweetness.
To honor our many years together, here are 36 lessons I've found most valuable:
1. If you think marriage would have been much easier with somebody else, you're probably wrong.
2. Most marital problems are fixable. Really. Even the tough ones.
3. The D word (divorce) is a dangerous weapon. I suggest the F word instead: frustrated. Nobody's heart will be broken if you say, "I'm so FRUSTRATED I could scream!"
4. The term wedded bliss should be stricken from every couple's vocabulary. Marriage is wonderful in many ways, but expecting bliss makes the inevitable rough times seem like a problem when they're simply part of the deal.
5. That bit about how your partner won't change: Wrong. My husband and I met in our early 20s. If we'd both stayed just as we were, we'd still be two naïve kids, stubbornly insisting we have to have things our way, thinking marriage shouldn't be as challenging as it is.
6. Marriage doesn't get good or stay good all on its own.
7. Every one of us is, in our own way, difficult to live with. Beginning to work on even one of your own problem behaviors will make a big difference in the quality of your marriage. Added bonus: your spouse will greatly appreciate it!
8. People who are unhappily married sometimes think marriage is the problem -- that marriage is unnatural or outdated or impossible to do well. There's not a third entity called marriage. Everything that goes on between you is your creation. Each of you playing your part. Why not create something worthwhile?
9. Marriage is a "learn on the job" proposition. None of us comes into it with all the skills we need for success. When the going gets rough it's most often a sign that we need some new skills -- not a sign that we need a new spouse.
10. Struggle in marriage is not only inevitable, it's necessary. None of us can grow a strong and healthy relationship without having to face and resolve difficult issues.
11. Even the best marriage can't make up for the difficulties we faced growing up. We all come with childhood injuries. Thinking your spouse can make you feel safe and secure when you're wobbly inside is too much to ask. The sooner (and more effectively) you deal with your "stuff," the healthier and more satisfying your marriage will be.
12. Love grows as much from the challenges we face and surmount together as from the delights that we share.
13. Marriage is a long negotiation about how two people are going to run things. Money. Intimacy. Parenting. Chores. You can battle, or you can collaborate. Collaboration is a lot more rewarding.
14. Even the most stubborn among us can learn how to yield. Trust me on this one.
15. Most of your spouse's upsets and frustrations aren't about you -- but some are. The sooner you figure out which is which, the better off you'll be.
16. During hard times, commitment may be your saving grace. The fact that, way back when, you said "'till death do us part" may be the only reason you keep two feet in long enough to fix what's not going well. And that's reason enough.
17. Marriage can make you a better person or a worse person. It's your choice.
18. Complaints and criticisms aren't the same thing as requests for change.
19. Discouragement is one of the greatest threats to marriage. I've seen struggling couples give up on marriages that could quite likely be saved had they been given the proper guidance and encouragement to hang in there and fix things.
20. Thinking you have a 50-50 chance of ending up divorced makes it seem like a coin toss. It's not. There are some behaviors that nearly guarantee failure. We all know what they are. It's a good idea to not do them.
21. Being nice helps.
22. Saying thank-you does, too.
23. The happier I am about my own life, the less irritated I am about my husband's irritating behaviors.
24. A good marriage will have its share of conflict, frustration, boredom, unresolvable arguments, slammed doors and nights where one person sleeps on the couch. The key is to have enough good things to balance them out.
25. It's not always easy to keep your heart open.
26. Love matters. While love doesn't heal all, even (especially) during hard times, love is a touchstone, a reminder of why you got together in the first place.
27. Marriage is not an antidote for loneliness. While marriage provides companionship, closeness and connection are not a constant. Sometimes we're in sync. Sometimes we're not. It's important to be able to soothe and comfort yourself when need be.
28. It's easy to get into a rut when you're with the same person, year after year. Sex. Vacations. Dinner. How you spend Saturday night. Change things. Add some spice.
29. Most good marriages have one person who plays the role of the relationship "guardian": The person who brings up difficult subjects. The person who stays hopeful in hard times. The person who acts as a steadying influence when one or both of you are getting worked-up. In an ideal world, that role would be shared. In the real world it only takes one.
30. One of the best things to do in the midst of a fight is to stop fighting. Take a break. Cool down. Come back to it later. Hotheads are terrible problem solvers.
31. Some conflicts cannot be resolved by compromise. (We can't have half a child or buy half a vacation home). When there's no such thing as "meeting halfway," the solution becomes a matter of generosity, where one person says "yes" to their second choice and the other acknowledges that as a gift.
32. Fights are never about content. Where we store the dish soap, whether it's quicker to take the frontage road or the freeway, whether it's horribly rude not to answer a text -- none of these are worth getting ourselves all in a twist. Our upsets are about the larger meaning we make of that unanswered text, that resistance to influence, that refusal to take seriously the things we request. It's really helpful to accurately name what's setting you off.
33. There's a big difference between being happily married and living happily ever after. None of us are happy 24/7. Thank goodness we don't need to be.
34. When you think to yourself, I really shouldn't say this, you're probably right.
35. Learning how to make up is essential since you'll never, ever, get to a point where neither one of you screws up.
36. One of you has to go first. Apologize first. Be vulnerable first. Yield first. Forgive first. Why not let that person be you?
--
Have a friend who might like this post? Please share!
Looking to have a more satisfying marriage? Get my free bonus article: 75 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Starting Today
Also on The Huffington Post: 25 Ways to Say I Love You Without Saying a Word and Give Your Spouse The Gift That Can't Go Wrong
Monday, December 15, 2014
Why giving just 70 % can be better for your life
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Slow Cooker Balsamic Turkey Roas
Slow Cooker Balsamic Turkey Roast
Prep Time: 10 minutes | cook time: 4 to 7 hours
Serves 8
Phase 1 or 3
Ingredients:
4 portabella mushroom caps, diced large
2 cups grape tomatoes
2 cups diced onions (diced small)
1/4 cup organic chicken broth
1/3 cup balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon spicy brown mustard (optional)
1 two-pound boneless turkey breast
1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes (optional)
Directions:
Place mushrooms, tomatoes, onions and chicken broth at the bottom of the slow cooker.
Mix balsamic vinegar and mustard until well combined. Pour over vegetables in the slow cooker.
Rub turkey with Italian seasoning, garlic powder, salt, pepper and red pepper flakes (if applicable).
Place turkey on top of vegetables. Cover and cook for 4 hours on High OR 6 to 7 hours on Low.
To serve, slice turkey breast and top with vegetables and balsamic sauce.
Paleo pumpkin cranberry granola
Paleo Pumpkin Cranberry Granola
Elana's pantry blog
1 cup almonds
1 cup macadamia nuts
1 cup pumpkin seeds
1 cup pumpkin puree (homemade or canned pumpkin puree)
2-4 tablespoons honey
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
¼ teaspoon celtic sea salt
½ cup dried cranberries, juice sweetened
Place nuts and seeds in a large bowl
Cover with water and soak overnight
Drain and rinse the nuts and seeds, discarding soaking water
Pulse nuts and seeds in food processor
Pulse until coarsely chopped almost to the consistency of granola
Very briefly pulse in pumpkin puree, honey, cinnamon, and salt
Spread mixture out onto 2 baking sheets
Bake at 170° for 10 hours, then leave in oven with temperature off, but light on, until crispy
Remove from oven and stir in dried cranberries
Serve with almond milk or coconut milk
Serves 8
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Happiness Project quote
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
10 petits conseils pour ne pas avoir des enfants gâtés. À faire lire d'urgence à tous les parents !
Sheryl Ziegler est psychologue, conseillère et thérapeute de métier. Voici dix conseils plutôt intéressants qu'elle donne aux parents qu'elle reçoit dans son cabinet...
10 petits conseils pour ne pas avoir des enfants gâtés
Dans mon cabinet, je vois souvent passer des familles très aisées, qui se plaignent de ne pas réussir à élever des enfants “pas gâtés ni ingrats”. Leur problème c’est justement qu’ils sont riches, qu’ils vont en vacances dans des endroits paradisiaques, qu’ils ont des maisons gigantesques et possèdent tous les derniers gadgets, jouets et autres voitures de luxe. Ils me demandent alors s’il est tout de même possible pour eux d’éduquer des enfants de manière correcte. Ma réponse est “oui, mais vous allez devoir travailler dur pour cela.”
Alors, voici ma liste des 10 choses à faire si l’on veut éduquer des enfants dans le respect de l’autre, sans les gâter. Cette liste, je la livre d’habitude à ces familles aisées, mais je pense que cela peut s’appliquer pour tout le monde, de manière plus générale…
1. Savoir dire non...Souvent. Apprenez à vos enfants à attendre avant d’obtenir quelque chose, ou bien donnez-leur en guise de récompense, sous réserve des conditions que vous définirez. Vous leur apprendrez ainsi la valeur des choses, et vous leur enseignerez que dans la vie, il ne suffit pas de claquer des doigts pour obtenir quelque chose. Vous n’avez pas à toujours donner à vos enfants tout ce qu’ils désirent, même si vous pouvez facilement vous le permettre financièrement.
2. Attendez d’eux qu’ils expriment de la gratitude. Il faut aller plus loin que le simple apprentissage des “bonnes manières”, et dépasser le simple “s’il vous plaît/merci”. Apprenez leur à regarder les gens dans les yeux, à serrer la main franchement, à exprimer de l’affection et à apprécier les choses qui leur sont dites ou données généreusement.
3. Pratiquez vous-même l’altruisme. Par exemple, donnez les anciens habits et jouets à ceux qui sont dans le besoin, vous pouvez en faire don à certaines associations… Débrouillez-vous pour que vos enfants prennent part à cela, et pour qu’ils vous accompagnent afin qu’ils voient où leurs objets vont, et qu’ils comprennent l’utilité de cette démarche.
4. Soyez conscient des personnes que vous fréquentez. Si vous ne fréquentez que des familles dont les enfants sont gâtées par leurs parents, cela ne vous aidera pas dans l’éducation de vos propres enfants : Ils prendront exemple sur eux, et ne comprendront pas pourquoi eux ont droit à toutes ces choses, alors que vous, vous leur posez des limites. Assurez-vous que les familles ou les amis avec lesquels vous passez beaucoup de temps partagent vos valeurs.
5. Faites leur écrire des cartes de remerciement. Oui, écrites sur un papier, avec un vrai stylo ! De nos jours, les enfants sont de plus en plus facilement distraits, leur attention saute d’une chose à l’autre et on oublie trop souvent de leur apprendre à passer du temps, à être attentionné pour exprimer leur gratitude envers les autres. Cela peut paraître trivial, mais c’est pourtant un excellent moyen pour leur enseigner à exprimer leurs sentiments et leur appréciation.
6. Ne les couvez pas trop. Vous ne devriez pas les rattraper à chaque fois qu’ils tombent, c’est parfois difficile car il vous faut pour cela aller contre votre instinct de protection (bien sûr cela ne veut pas dire non plus qu’il faut les laisser se faire écraser par une voiture…) Apprenez leur les conséquences qui découlent naturellement des actes, dès leur plus jeune âge -- parlez leur de certaines de vos propres expériences mauvaises, et expliquez leur que la vie n’est pas toujours juste. Ne tentez pas de les préserver à tout prix de toutes les déceptions. Il faut bien comprendre que le fait de tomber et d’échouer tient une part importante et majeure dans tout développement humain, et particulièrement durant l’enfance
7. Résistez à l’envie d’acheter des quantités de choses. Même si vous pouvez vous le permettre, ce n’est pas parce que vous pouvez le faire que c’est forcément une bonne idée ! Pourquoi acheter six paquets de glace, quand vous pouvez en acheter juste un. Votre enfant apprendra à aimer et à apprécier ce qu’il a.
8. Parlez à leurs grands-parents et expliquez-leur l’éducation que vous cherchez à donner à vos enfants. Expliquez leur votre désir d’avoir des enfants respectueux, gentils et responsables et la manière dont vous souhaitez parvenir à ce but. Vous aurez besoin de leur aide car les grands-parents forment souvent un second cercle familial, alternatif, pour les enfants. Et les grands-parents sont connus pour avoir tendance à gâter leurs petits-enfants… Si c’est le cas, demandez-leur de les gâter en les couvrant d’amour, d’attention, de tendresse et d’affection -- pas en les couvrant de jouets, de bonbons et d’argent.
9. Enseignez-leur la valeur de l’argent. Donnez-leur de l’argent de poche, et apprenez leur à économiser, à choisir ce pour quoi ils le dépenseront, et pourquoi pas, à faire des cadeaux ou des dons aux autres. Ils apprendront ainsi que l’argent n’est pas infini, et ils en deviendront plus responsables. Vous pouvez commencer cela quand ils sont très jeunes avec de petites quantités d’argent de poche, puis augmenter à mesure qu’ils gagneront en âge et en responsabilité.
10. Racontez leur votre histoire. Vos enfants doivent savoir que la vie n’est pas simple et que tout se mérite. Racontez leur comment vous avez commencé à travailler, ce que vous avez fait ensuite, et que vous n’avez pas des ressources illimitées. Quand ils seront un peu plus grands, expliquez-leur que 10 € équivalent à 1 heure de travail au Smic….
Quoi qu’il en soit, sachez que si vous avez un enfant gâté -- qui fait des caprices, qui crie et qui s’énerve si vous ne lui donnez pas ce qu’il souhaite, sachez que c’est en partie dû à son éducation. Si c’est le cas, il est temps de commencer à appliquer certaines de ces approches (si ce n’est pas toutes !)
Votre vie en tant que parent sera plus facile, votre enfant sera plus heureux, et il saura s’intégrer plus facilement dans le monde.
30 days of HIIT
Voilà un bon entrainement à faire:
http://neilarey.com/programs/30-days-of-hiit.html
Let go of frustration and stress
Little note from Courtney: This is a guest post by Leo Babauta.
If you’ve been experimenting with simplicity, you’ve been practicing letting go.
But if you’ve found some frustrations with trying to simplify, or have a fair amount of stress in your life … it might be time to try some Advanced Letting Go Practices. Luckily, it turns out that you’re well prepared with the letting go you’ve already been practicing.
We all face stress, but it can pile up as we try to make changes in our lives but also have a crapton of work to do and maybe mounting holiday obligations and (in my case at least) kids who seem to need your attention every waking minute (and bless them for it).
We all face frustrations, but simplifying your life comes with additional frustrations, especially if you have others in your life who aren’t totally on board.
What are we to do?
We practice letting go. And in the process, we find peace.
The Letting Go Process
Let’s take a quick look at the process you might already be practicing as you let go of your possessions:
- You ask yourself whether something is worthy of being in your life (ex: that treadmill you had high hopes for but only used twice, in separate bouts of optimism).
- You realize that it’s causing more headaches than joy.
- You are a bit fearful but purge your life of this burden in a fit of ecstasy.
- You find that this results in a newfound sense of freedom and release.
Does that sound familiar? Your particular process might either have more fear and tug-of-war of desires involved, or perhaps you’re a pro and let go of things as easily as I can eat vegan pie (really easily). But even if your process is a bit different, the rough outline is probably similar.
What does this have to do with overcoming frustrations and stress? It’s the same process.
The Things That Frustrate & Stress Us Out
So let’s now make a list of some things that might be causing you frustration and stress (they won’t apply to everyone, of course):
- When other people criticize or don’t understand.
- Having too much to do — or more accurately, wanting to get it all done.
- Having lots of obligations and commitments.
- Needing to drive around and do errands and drop off kids.
- Christmas shopping.
- Not having enough time to simplify.
- Having too many emails or incoming requests.
- Kids who make a mess.
This isn’t a complete list, nor will these apply to all of you. But you might recognize a few causes of frustrations and stress here from your own life, and it might be a good idea to add your own to this list in the comments below.
Here’s the thing that will help us in the letting go process: it’s not really the other people or the incoming requests or the shopping or errands or messes that stress us out and frustrate us. It’s not the external circumstances — it’s our desire that relates to these circumstances.
What do I mean? Well, having errands (external circumstance) isn’t the cause of stress — it’s wanting to get all of them done by a certain time, and the worry that we won’t, that stresses us out. Having someone criticize you (external circumstance) doesn’t cause stress — it’s wanting to not be criticized that causes it. Kids making a mess (external circumstance) isn’t the cause of frustration — it’s wanting them not to make the mess that frustrates us.
The external circumstance is never the cause of stress or frustration — it’s our internal desire. But what if we think we should have that internal desire?
That’s where advanced letting go comes into play.
Advanced Letting Go Practices
We want to have our desires. We want to be able to wish that other people wouldn’t criticize, or that our kids wouldn’t make messes, or that life would be calm and peaceful without a million demands.
And that’s nice, but in reality, life is never that way. Never. Life is never without a million demands, and we never are free from people who make messes, and we’ll never have everyone understand us and refrain from criticizing. This is the cost of living an interesting life — if we never had messes or demands on our time, we’d probably be doing life wrong.
The question is how we deal with this reality. We want our desires, but we also need to deal with messy, demanding, non-understanding reality.
I say, try the same letting go you’ve been practicing with simplifying your stuff.
These are more advanced skills, so if you haven’t honed your sword on clutter yet, don’t try these practices. But if you’re ready, let’s give it a go.
First, let’s see how we can apply the above letting go practice to our desires:
- You ask yourself whether something is worthy of being in your life (ex: the desire for an always-neat home).
- You realize that it’s causing more headaches than joy — because it stresses you out and gets you mad at your kids.
- You think perhaps you don’t need to change, but decide to try letting go of this burden. You embrace the reality of your messy kids.
- You find that this results in a newfound sense of freedom and release. You are less stressed and happier with your kids.
This will be more difficult than getting rid of the clothes you haven’t worn for a month, because you are likely to think that you should be able to desire a neat home, that other people should behave better than they do. But try it.
Some of the things I challenge you to let go of:
- The desire to do anything to near perfection (which causes stress and/or procrastination).
- The desire for everyone to think well of you (which causes stress when you fear they don’t). Honestly, I’m not perfect, and if some people like me and others think I’m less-than-perfect, that’s pretty fair.
- The desire to get everything done (which causes stress, like when you are doing errands or have a million things to do). Honestly, we’ll never get everything done. All we can do is one thing at a time, and then the next, so focus on what’s right in front of you.
- The desire to say yes to everyone (which causes you to be stretched thin and stressed out). If you say yes to everyone, you will be saying no to yourself.
- The desire for others to behave as they should (which causes you to be frustrated with them). People will not behave well all the time, and that’s OK, because you don’t either.
- The desire to have lots of time to simplify (or do anything), which causes you frustration that you don’t have the time. Instead, just do a little, when you can, and clear up more time when you’re able to later.
- The desire for there to be fewer requests and emails, which causes you stress, or the desire to handle all of it. Instead, accept that there will be lots of incoming information and requests, and don’t try to deal with all of it. Do what you can, one thing at a time.
That’s a good start. I also challenge you to start noticing when you’re stressed or frustrated, and to examine what desire is at the heart of this feeling. And then see if you can practice letting it go.
Think of this as the Zen practice in the middle of your chaotic life. If you get good at this, with practice, you’ll be able to find peace when before there was only frustration.
——–
Read about Leo Babauta’s new book Zen Habits: Mastering the Art of Change and be a part of it on Kickstarter. You can find more articles from Leo on Zen Habits.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)